WTF!

What the fuck?!
Yup. I am officially pissed off.
I'm having such a great time in France, and things just keep getting in the way of my enjoyment of life.
First, now that I got used to the French keyboard, I now suck at typing with the American one, this indeed, irritates me.
Second, old "friends" are bitches. I mean, why did I even think they were my friends.
This is how I notice that I'm too naive and just too nice.
Third, people that are jealous because there old friends like me more than them.
What can I do about it?!huh?!
Maybe you should of been a better friend to them in the first place.
Ughh!
And lastly, people that don't believe me when I say something, regardless at how many times I tell them.

Thanks blog!
You really helped!

Priorities.

This whole phone situation was the dumbest idea! Why did I think of it?
Long distance calls never work. I wasted my energy and my good mood on something that ended up crappy. I felt lonely and rejected in the end. Well liah, you can only blame yourself for it.
I should just stop myself from connecting to the other side of the world, completely. No myspace, no phone. Ta-da, sounds like a perfect plan!
I should just be having fun, enjoying my vacation 100% of the time. I do it to myself though, I'm so bad at bringing myself back up when it comes to Jon.
I just keep on bringing myself down, I don't quite know why.
I shouldn't be doing that anymore, after everything we've been through.
I feel so unstable sometimes; and I just need some time off everything, it takes so much out of me.
All the arguing, worrying, thinking, blah blah blah.
This is really not a post for anyone to read, I just need to open up and let it all out, everyone's asleep in this appartment and everything is dark. I have no one to talk to, this is SHIT.
I'm sure I'm coming off as a drama queen. I probably am one.

I feel like I haven't been giving a lot of attention to Kaita too, that's really been bothering me. I love her to death, and I miss her so fucking much. It's so sad not being able to really talk to her, I've had some good myspace convo's with her though. I swear, that girl is the most beautiful girl, inside and out. I'm so glad I met her, and we have such a great friendship.
She makes me so happy.
I probably sound like a lesbian, haha.
It's so weird, but I truly feel like we'll always be there for each other; we'll be gramma's knitting together, licking each other's toes while watching Cruel Intentions.
Because you know, that's what all g-ma's do these days, hehe.

Well, this post is getting long. But boy, it has helped so much.
It's crazy how talking to a computer can help so much, HAH!
Night!
Talk to me, if you're awake and interested.

Love!

I fucking love Jon Philip Pratico!



and this trip is dumb!

I'm gonna be honest,

I want to come home.
I am already sick of this place.
Not Paris itself, the people in Paris.
I'm sick of my family there, and I'm sick of the mean angry French people that expect you to buy stuff from them when they talk to you like shit.
I'm sick of the French people that talk to you like they're higher than you when they look like fucking ding bags.
I'm sick of seing couples holding hands, and kissing every where I go in Paris.
It makes me miss Jon wayyyyy more, I just wish he could be here with me because I know that I would love this trip then!
I can't stand my family when we're all together. I just can't, I just want to leave for a plane by myself to Fart Myers. Yeah, that's right, I 'd rather be in Fart Myers than in Paris.
The only thing that keeps me going about this trip is the food there, the beautiful architecture. But mostly thinking about what to buy for Jon and Kaita. Because they are the most important people to me. And that's the end of it.

Sorry if I sound so emotional.
But guess what, I fucking am.
I'm lost without the love of my life.
And I'm so overwhelmed with everything I've left undone.

Summertime!

Yesterday and today truly felt like summertime.
I hung out with Kaita yesterday, slept over, had a blast.
I learned so much about shading; I can't wait for my next class with my sexy tutor, Kaita Tinkoff!
She's the bestest friend I could ever ask for, I swear.
We get along on so many levels. And it just feels right talking to her about anything.
Like POOP(Liah's immature moment)!
Today, oh my god! Today was fucking great.
I volunteered at the library from 10 to 12, did 6 full shelves of books. That always makes me think accomplished.
Jon picked me up with his car! He got his license!
Woopy!
I was worried sick waiting for him outside, I kept picturing these horrible scenarios.
I was so happy when I saw him with his Aviators, aka douchebag glasses. Hehe!
We drove to his house, his mom was outside with coincidentally, Heather's parents.
I guess they provide Jon's sprinkler system. It was really weird seing them though. The last thing I remember Heather's mom saying to me was, your butt is as flat as a pancake.
Thanks Heather's mom, hah!
Afterwards, me and Jon went in the pool.
Oh! I forgot to tell you guys, on the way to Jon's house, I found a huge cockroach in his car near my feet. I about flew out of the car!
I felt terrible, I was an ENORMOUS distraction to Jon. We had to stop the car and kill it, it was about to crawl on my leg.
Those creepy crawlers aren't like dogs, they don't understand when you don't like them.

Back to Jon's house. We went in the pool, then we went to Beef'O'Brady's!
Jon's mom gave us 2 coupons for free meals, so badass!
We played videogames in the back, took pictures, played footsies, and ate way too fucking fast.
It was soooooooo good though.
After that, we went to Kyle's for a movie night from 4 to 11. Although plans changed.
Jon gave me a ride home at 9h40ish. We watched this Korean movie called "The Attack at the Gas Station", haha! I loved the name, it was such a cheesy movie.
Jon is sooo cute, I just couldn't stop cuddling with him.
I love him so much, and I'm going to miss him so fucking much.

Grrrrrrrrrr!

My mom pisses the fuck out of me!
Everytime I ask her if I can drive her car around, she says no.
Next time, next time, next time.
She doesn't have a problem with me driving HER car, she has a problem with being in the car with me, while I'm driving it.
It frustrates the fuck out of me.
Well, I have to go to the gym.
Fughhhhhnnn!
NOT.

Last day of school!

And of course, I choose today to be one of those days where I wake at 2 in the morning to finish my hw. Mainly because I had a great day with my gramma and came home at 7h30, which meant doing all my chores,doing hw; and somehow talk to Jon for a little bit before my bedtime at 10. I got to do all of that but unfortunately not enough hw. Today is English and Web Design. Surprisingly, I'm more nervous about Web Design than anything.
You know? I'm actually going to miss V-Gina Sabiston. She's a pretty fucking sweet women when it comes down to it. But god, she sucks at teaching. Hah, maybe this summer she'll take non-sucking classes.

Chillin' with The Patty May was so fun! We went shopping for my grades. To tell you the truth, I still feel awkward when she buys me stuff. I just feel like she's doing it to prevent making feel left out, considering Jade gets a toy every single day. But I really don't need anything from her.
Except, if I could change anything, it would be her fakeness towards me. Does she honestly think I believe her when she tells me that she lovess me. Nah, buying stuff for me isn't no love nigga.
But what can I do? And in the end, I get FREE clothes! So I shouldn't even be complaining.

It's 3:33 am, and I should be tired, I need all the sleep I can get. But I'm wide awake. I'd love to talk to Kaita right now. I think I'm hanging out with her on Sunday. Oh oh spaghetti-o!, I just realized something.
Poop.

Well, I'm gonna force myself to sleep.
Doesn't that sound lovely?
Yusssssssss, it does.
:)

7:07 am

There's many things I should be doing other than this right now.
But for some reason, I have this urge to open up.
My night was horrible, something feels different now.
I am still angry and fed up, I'm trying to think positevely though.
I mean, fuck! It's summer in 2 days!
Hopefully, Paris won't turn out to be a shithole, and I'll actually get to have fun.
I just need a change of pace, and what better for that than the city, Paris.
I truly hope that my dad is going to prove me that he actually gives two shits about me.
But, I'm not getting my hopes up, I've done that too many times.
Well, this week is final exams. So far so good, I haven't fainted yet, hah!
I have to go!
I'll get on later, bubyyee:)

Blah.

There's nothing better than craving a movie and then finding it on a random tv channel, that same exact day.
That movie for me is 102 dalmatians, I love it!
It's so cute, the only thing I would change about it, is to make the animals talk.
I have to say I was watching it this morning with my lil'pooper(my little sister), and Cruella scared the crap out of Jade and I.
And it makes me think that sometimes producers forget about who's watching their movies.

Here I go, talking about nonsense.
Anyway, today I'm in a blah mood.
As soon as I start thinking about all my tests starting tomorrow, I freak out.
I just hope I pull off the end of the year with all A's and B's, no C's are allowed in this house!

Jon and I are amazinggggggggggggg, I love him so fucking much.
Never in my life have I been sooo happy with my decisions.
He gives me butterflies, and things are just great!

One person I miss lately is Kaitapantssssssss, we're so busy and we just don't talk as much, but I know that as soon as summer starts, it'll be back the way it was.
Kaita is just such a great girl, she reads me like a book. And she's a constant in my life, she's not someone that comes and goes.

I guess I've been feeling like everybody is leaving me lately, and I have this constant feeling that people are mad at me or that they're sick of me.
I have to say that's one of my worst fears, when the people I care about are mad at me.
I just hate that feeling, when it seems like they're not interested in you anymore and they're moving on.

Wow, this is really starting to become an emo post, what a great way to start this blog! Haha.
I like this blog thing though, it's a great way to vent.

I'm probably going to see a movie later on today, I still have tons of chores and studyguides to do, how fugghnnnn!
:)